conniemaheswaran

Look. I get that you're trying to shame both of us at once. It's a good tactic to show your authority. But I am actually *trying* to abide by the spirit of the ceasefire between Emet-Selch and myself and *not* going directly to him and picking fights and meanwhile, he's talking shit to me in front of the whole team over a single ill-considered remark and then sliding into my DMs later that night to abuse me and insult me while whining about how the *ex-fiance* he threw over for Dirk is now avoiding him.

I *am* sorry that we ended up arguing with each other in your post and you had to get the notifs for all of that. But in this instance I really *don't* feel like we were equally at fault.

Edited 2020-08-11 00:18 (UTC)

Sorry. I'm calmer now. It helps that I'm bitching at Tyler instead. Sometimes you just need to complain about people to someone who will listen. (And maybe not the person who you're complaining about's ex-fiance, who is a troll at heart, because that will backfire on you.)

I'm sorry again about you having to wake up to that.

Tio, I get where you're coming from and that really, really sucks. I'm going to have a word with him later about it all, trust me.

But I have a creeping feeling that you're not telling me the whole story. Emet-Selch can be an insensitive, rude bastard who gets a kick out of messing with people and doesn't know when to stop, but even he wouldn't normally go to such lengths. What happened between you two?

Right.

I'd hoped I wouldn't have to tell you this, because you'd (quite rightly) be disappointed in me, but what happened is this:

Way back near the end of May, I lost my temper with him and threw him down a flight of stairs. I then kicked him while he was down and told him to keep away from me and mine. Of course he didn't, not really, but he did get in my face much less for the next month.

But then, like a cocky asshole, I used my skills as an oneiromancer (of which I am a very good one) to give him one hell of a nightmare during the weird weekend.

He (naturally) considered that as an act of war. He then sent one of his Rotoms over to sabotage my ability to work and came very close to losing me my job, until I could get Tyler to help me deal with it. However, I still ended up having to take multiple weeks of unpaid leave over the whole incident.

While all this was going on, Emet-Selch's former betrothed (who he threw over for Dirk) befriended me and told me Emet's True Name. I attempted to recruit him to the team. While he's unsure if he *will* join us, he *will* keep our secrets.

Tyler, however, didn't believe this and attempted to wipe Hythlodaeus' mind of that knowledge. I stopped him in the act.

Because I saved Hythlodaeus, Emet-Selch slid into my DMs to thank me (which I did not expect) and I turned that into an attempt to sue for a ceasefire treaty, because my experiences with the Rotom Menace gave me a glimpse at what lay in my future if the two of us kept fighting.

We signed the treaty a couple days ago. I'm attempting to abide by the spirit of it as well as the letter by not engaging when I can and by trying to restrain my aggression while I can't avoid it. Emet-Selch, however, has no problem merely abiding by the letter and taking whatever opportunity he has to outright insult me to my face.

I could say so many things to him that I am *not* right now, because I am taking this treaty seriously. Things like 'serial body thief' and 'the worst parent I know' and 'a damn bigot.'

I know when viewed in the long run, I *did* start it... but I'm *trying* to not continue it. I'm trying to hold up my end of the treaty in good faith and Emet-Selch *isn't* and it's

Very tiring.

I'm sorry, mija. I know I've told you before that I'm *not* a good man, but I don't think I've ever really explained what I mean when I say that.

...

Connie Maheswaran is typing...

I'm sorry, mija. I really am. I know I'm the problem here. The treaty is-- a way to stop Emet-Selch's revenge from getting worse, but also as a limiter on *me*, because I don't trust my temper when dealing with him. He reminds me so much of

Well. El Pecador. Not in looks or in manner or in anything so obvious, which is why it took me some time to realize the resemblance, but in that he's always trying to *put me in my place*.

Which is. Not that of a person. At least not to him.

Just...

Fucking Hell, Durante.

I knew none of us were nice people, not anymore at least, but this is...

You know, I honestly can't fault Emet-Selch for being immature when you pushed him down a flight of stairs and gave him horrible nightmares that likely manifested into reality considering some of the bullshit he pulled on the weird weekend.

Granted, all of the stuff he did was screwed up too, but it was just PETTY, not on that level, oh my god!

And I know what happened to you in the fae realm was horrible, BUT HE TREATS LITERALLY EVERYONE EXCEPT DIRK THAT WAY! I KNOW IT MUST BE A HUGE TRIGGER TO YOU BUT DON'T PRETEND HE DOES IT SPECIFICALLY TO ANTAGONIZE YOU!

YOU DUG THIS HOLE YOURSELF, DURANTE!

I know, Connie. I *know*. Tyler's telling me off too and I deserve it.

Just.

Fuck.

[There's a long pause where '...' keeps happening as Steven types, erases, and retypes the rest of his reply.]

I'm going to listen to him. Tyler, that is. He might be being an idiot hothead about poking the PGC with sticks, but when it comes to me and what I need to do to stop being such a tool... he's actually right.

[What he didn't type: that Emet-Selch might not have been doing it specifically before but he sure as hell is now.]

Edited 2020-08-16 19:49 (UTC)

Good.

Jesus fucking Christ, Steven.

I'm sixteen.

I am SICK TO DEATH of having to be the adult in the room or the shoulder to cry on or the levelheaded friend in an organization that's mostly people older than me by at least a decade. I'd make a witty comment about averages and Emet-Selch being an outlier that shouldn't be counted but I'm just too tired.

Hah. Spiders Emet.

(I actually missed that meme when it happened, but there's a guy at the freehold back home actually called Spiders Georg who told me about his namesake.)

But all joking aside... yeah, *God*. We've been putting way too much on your shoulders, Connie, and I'm so fucking sorry. I can't affect what anyone else does, but I'll do my best to *not* be starting shit anymore and-- well. To not even try to finish it. To just brush the shit off my shoulders. Oh, that's an *awful* mental image.

You deserve space to be a teenager, mija, and I'm so sorry we haven't been giving you that.

Thanks, Tio Steven.

The fact that you even realize that puts you a tier above most adults in my life up to this point.

Although you still don't entirely clearly the bar because seriously, WHAT THE FUCK.

PTSD is a *bitch*, Connie. (Not that that's really an excuse because *Tyler* also has PTSD and the worst he's ever tried with Hythlo is... actually. Hm. I think his mental attack *was* worse than mine, even though *my* physical attack was worse than his.)

Greetings Connie,

I do so hope your time in Sinnoh is proving to be eventful and ever enjoyable. I received your gift, though I cannot say I agree with your decision on such a title, I appreciate the thought nonetheless. Points for creativity, at the very least. I am certain Dirk will quite enjoy when I don it.

Though, to be candid with you, my contacting you has little to do with that, and more to do with aught of a more serious nature. I have come to understand that you have gone under a strange spell of sleep, only to awaken with new memories from your home. I would hear more of this, for just today have I awoken from the selfsame scenario.

Pray, respond at your leisure. This matter is hardly one bound by time constraints, and I would not rob you of your vacation more than what is strictly necessary.

I really do wish you were both here, honestly; you and Dirk would love getting to finally experience an entirely new region. It's a nice break from the monotony of Kanto and Johto.

About the other thing, it was... weird. The best way I can describe it is that I astral projected into the body of a "me" that never got abducted to this world. I was almost a passive observer in my own life for a solid six months (more like three, maybe two if you want to get semantic about actual lived experience, but you want to Dirk about that, not me). It was actually kinda horrifying looking back on it, but I was so numb when it was actually happening to notice.

A true pity, but with my sudden and unexpected slumber it would seem I made the better choice to stay behind. Mayhap if ever a chance comes again, we may be able to indulge in the experience.

Six months, you say...interesting, I was spirited away for a mere week—here and back in my own reality. Though, I cannot say it felt quite as your account, but upon reflection I suppose I could see how it might seem as such. That our bodies here remain is passing strange to me, well, perhaps not for me specifically, but the body that is present here experienced changes that reflected that which I suffered in my reality.

Have you suffered a lapse in memory, and this is why you only recall so little of your time back in your world? I cannot say I am at all surprised by that possibility, but for such a short amount of time to cause a faulty memory is its own concern. Though, I suppose you might not have an answer if you are deferring me to Dirk.

Edited 2020-08-12 20:19 (UTC)

Are you familiar with Strider's theory of narrative relevance as it's correlated to conscious processing of events?

Nay, not specifically. I am well aware of his powers of narration, and how he is capable of constructing reality itself through such influence, but I cannot say that we have spoke of that specific theory as of yet.

If I were to hazard a guess, would such a theory consist of the premise that if one's life were part of a narration, those moments that one cannot easily remember are in direct relation to that which would be irrelevant to the overarching plot? Monotonous moments in time lost to memory and an unperceived audience due to some imagined concept of story progression and relevance?

Natch. You can see where I'm going with this, right?

[He stares at "natch" for a moment, not being familiar with the slang and all, but he decides to press on. Ignoring the word for now. He can guess well enough what it might be meaning via context.]

I see.

So, you believe this befell you upon your "return"? How strange, I cannot say I myself suffered such a fate.

Did your world end?

Not in the traditional fires and brimstone sense. I mean... did all the stories it was going to tell come to a close? Did everybody get neat, tidy conclusions to their "arcs?" Did you get a drawn-out, bittersweet finale to everything that happened?

Because that's what happened to my world.

It did end, though I suppose not in the way you are implying.

But then again, I also suppose I cannot say for certain, for when I awoke, it was during a climactic battle that would determine the fate of my very reality. So, truly, I returned at a rather inopportune moment. Regardless, what you are implying, the general story wrap up and all of that, if this theory is in anyway founded, there is far too much work to be done for any sort of tidy tying off of loose ends and happy conclusions to be executed.

Regardless, mine is a memory without falter, so I have my doubts I would fall under any such affliction. Tell me, do you truly believe your existence is in peril merely because you are experiencing some semblance of peace? Most would be grateful for such, yet you seem to hold it in fear and disdain.

You'll want to leave your calendar open for 2/15, mija.

Do tell. Is this a good "clear your calendar" or a bad "clear you calendar?"

The best kind of "clear your calendar."

The *wedding* kind of "clear your calendar."

Holy smokes, congratulations!

Thank you!

We've been talking around it for a while, actually, with the idea that it's something we were more or less heading towards eventually, but not making anything *official* yet because... well.

I have issues. Some of which came from a really bad break-up that ended my only other long term relationship, some of which was come from when people voted to *take away* my fledgeling ability to get married almost ten years ago (for me), some of which came from being... not exactly psychologically normal anyway and being aware of it, and some of which *definitely* came from being publicly closeted for most of my life, even if I was out with friends and family.

And, you know, Jack knows all that shit. And he's been very good at waiting for me to ask *him* about actually doing it, which I did earlier today. There's still a lot to figure out, like the guest list and venue and all of that, but we're definitely going to be married in six months exactly.

(On our one year anniversary actually.)

That's... all really understandable. (And really rage-inducing. Is it possible to travel to the past with fae magic to punch people in the face? Asking for myself.)

Still, I'm really happy for you two! It's nice to see you two getting over your

Well

At least having your issues together as opposed to independently now.

You'd have to punch *just* over half of the people who voted in the 2008 November Election in the State of California. That's a *lot* of people, mija.

(By the time I'd gotten back from Arcadia, I'd been allowed to marry anywhere in the country for about a month thanks to the Supreme Court, so there was a semi-happy ending. That said, it sucks like *hell* to have your rights taken away, especially when you'd only just got them.)

And yeah, we are. And Jack *is* helping me a lot. A lot of the facets of my personality/psychology that I've always been ashamed of aren't *that* weird in his future. And nobody then cares who or what you screw... well, okay, maybe some people care if you screw *robots*.

(The other person that's helping me with my issues now? Hythlodaeus aka Emet-Selch's ex-. At first I was only hanging out with Hythlo as exposure therapy, because you know how Emet-Selch triggers my PTSD just by existing, but I've gotten to actually *like* him. And he's had to deal with similar psychological abnormalities to mine, so he's a lot of help in figuring out ways to manage them better.)

Edited 2020-08-25 16:06 (UTC)

It doesn't take too long for Connie and Akane to finish shedding their luggage into their new room at the resort hotel that they'll be sharing for the second week of the trip--the first week having been spent at the traditional inn, where Akane had been able to watch how Connie had delighted in staying in a real live ryokan. Some of that delight had faded as the week had progressed, however, and even the fancy resort room with the incredibly soft bed and the tiny bottles of alcohol in the minifridge that nobody had thought to remove before renting the room to a pair of teenage girls hadn't completely restored Connie's normal good humor.

Obviously, they'd need to have a talk.

Akane... wasn't always good at talking about her feelings. Usually when they came out, it was in a burst of frustrated yelling. Sometimes, the arguably better times, they came out when she was crying. But that didn't matter. One thing she'd learned from dating Connie these last two and a half months (and watching how the other couples they knew did things) was that sometimes you had to make yourself be a grown-up and talk to people. Even though you'd rather not.

She sighs heavily and sits down on the edge of their bed. "Connie... what happened? You've been a little weird since you slept for a week, but the last couple days you've been... I don't know. Something. What happened?"

Edited 2020-08-16 22:46 (UTC)

Akane wasn't stupid.

Sure, she acted impulsive, could be dangerously reckless, and had a hair-trigger temper. (All of which Connie found indescribably hot, honestly.) Most people thought that meant she was slow too. But Connie knew better.

But that didn't mean she wasn't hoping Akane wouldn't catch on.

Connie freezes at that question. A lie is on the tip of her tongue, but-

She lets go of it.

"...hey, Akane.

"Do you remember what we did yesterday?"

(She isn't deflecting, she swears!)

Akane wrinkles her nose. "Um. Sort of? We started packing to move to this hotel. We had our last dip in the hot springs, which meant it was longer than usual. Oh! And your uncle sent you a text over the pokegear to tell you he was getting married! Which I didn't know men could do here, but I guess they can."

That wasn't everything they did yesterday, she knows, but it was the important parts.

"But do you remember living it?"

Akane frowns. "Connie... what do you mean?"

"These past few months, ever since I got back, I've... I've been losing time." Connie stares up at the ceiling, suitcases under her eyes as she forces the words out of her throat. "Because it's- gah, it's hard to explain, I-

"My world ended, Akane."

Akane's eyes go wide and a little scared. "Was it..." She hesitates, then lowers her voice. "Was it atom bombs?"

"No! No, not like that." She probably should've clarified what she actually meant. Whoops. "Physically, I guess it's... fine, if it still exists somewhere out there. Who knows if it does at this point.

"But it ended like how a story ends when you read the final page of the book."

Akane nods slowly. "I... you know, it's funny. That sort of happened to me. I mean, I had this moment where it felt almost like a book had closed on my life. When Ranma and I were running off to school together after that whole failed wedding thing that happened."

"...it's a terrifying feeling, isn't it?" Connie says, huddled up against herself.

The bags beneath Connie's eyes nearly swallow her face whole.

"It was-- weird," Akane agrees. "But we had to make it to school so I didn't think too much about it at the time, except then I fell unconscious and woke up to Fake Mom telling me it was time to go on my Pokemon Journey."

She's going to tentatively wrap her arms around Connie. "And then, you know, I was here and at first I thought I'd been kidnapped again and I was waiting for Ranma to show up--and then I realized this was better than being home, because even if I miss everyone, I'm not just-- I don't know. The no-fun girlfriend from some manga, maybe? After a while, that's kind of how I started to feel. Like I was just-- Mm. The Girl in Ranma's story--though I guess that's not really true, if Ranma was also secretly a girl all along."

"That's the thing, isn't it? We only recognize these patterns, these stories, once we're out of them, because we're in them we just don't want to. Or... we can't. Which is the scariest thing to think of."

Connie leans into Akane's hug, shivering. It's all just... so much to think about.

"I... ever since I got back, I've been feeling weird. Like everything insignificant is just... slipping away, with only these small moments with you feeling meaningful and real and it's like I've been- I don't even know. Like I'm not, like I don't exist in between.

"It's like somebody out there is just... forgetting all of us, and I don't know what that means for me."

Akane hugs her tightly. "Oh Connie. I-- I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make that feeling go away. I wish I did. I really wish I did. I just-- I don't know. I really don't. I wish I could help."

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text; 8/15 in the afternoon

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8/15 (more or less in the evening)

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action, 8/16

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